I miss the adrenaline when I saw his name come up on MSN or on my caller ID
I miss the waiting for him to come see me because of what we had talked about
I miss the conversations we used to have about when he was going to come see me
I miss feeling like his best friend
I miss feeling like he liked me as more than that
I miss the guy he used to be...
I miss feeling like I had a group of friends in school
I miss feeling like there was a group of people who would have my back no matter what
I miss going out with my friends on a Saturday
I miss my friends from last year
I miss spending all of my summer sitting in someone's house with my old friends just talking and having water fights
I miss the cuddles from just about anyone whenever I wanted one
I miss the private jokes
I miss being able to be completely myself around people
I miss how easy everything was last year
I miss being able to go out of a weekend without worrying about what work I have to do
I miss sitting through lessons and being able to not pay attention because it was easy
I miss feeling like I wasn't slipping through my classes, despite getting straight As/A*s in every subject...
I miss feeling like I wasn't struggling to maintain those grades
I miss sitting through lessons with my old friends, laughing hysterically about nothing
I miss the naivety before this school year started
I miss the past
I got this from someone's site, can't remember who's now. Anyways, most of that is true, scary isn't it? That's how I feel. Looking in the past is not a good idea and I've been trying not to, I've been pretty good about it. But, it's like everything that went good for me was in the past, I mean right now I lack a social life it's quite irritating, I don't have a job cuz idiots won't call me back, Richie is stupid for liking me cuz he has a girlfriend to begin with and now in class he talked to some other girl it's like "Well okay fuck you too Richie." He's like a man slut but not to that level, but he's told me before he's tried going out with other girls but they turned him down cuz he has a girlfriend so I know I wasn't his first try. I used to question why girls would turn him down, now I realize why, stupid stupid stupid. You're either in a relationship with someone or you aren't. If the distance is making it complicated, then break up duhhhh. I wouldn't want to date two different guys that's so wrong, everyone I talked to told me the situation is messed up. Only reason I held onto him for so long is cuz he's the only guy I have right now and for a while 'til I'm in ECU hopefully I'll meet someone else. Ugh I sound like a bitch right this second although I'm a very nice person but man I hope he gets rejected AGAIN and this girl has a boyfriend anyhow like on her Facebook it says in a relationship so I mean come on so I hope if he does have an interest in her she turns him down cuz I don't think she'd stoop down to his level. So Richie can go die =]. Like today, we sit next to each other, well Libby (the girl he talks to whom I talked to first) likes English and she's very good with essays and things like that. We had to be with a partner to do this thing & Richie's like "Heidi did Mrs. Doody say we have to be with a partner?" I'm like "ya" and he's like "ok. Libby want to work together?" The nerve, that little ass, just cuz she's smarter with it ugh oh my god in my mind I wanted to like hit him or something. Then when we finished we could leave and they finished before me and my partner, who was nice, and so they both left. So, they could like talk alone, and he didn't even say bye to me. Oh fuck him he's a fucking idiot I hope he gets what he's got coming although I somehow feel he'll get away with whatever sooner or later. It's not the fact that I like him anymore, trust me I'm way past that one cuz I realized him having a girlfriend was just stupid and I hated feeling second. It's the fact that I see how easy it is for him to flirt with some other girl or let's say not even flirt, but want to get to know another girl, I see how it is. Oh and by the way, she's doing her essay on the same topic as him which makes him want to talk to her even more, UGH! Sorry, I just HAD to get all this out, there's more I could say but choose not to for the sake of annoying people on here. It's just I HATE never being in a relationship, it made me stronger individually but still I want that hold hands, cuddling kind of thing you know? Never had that opportunity. I hope everyone else's relationships are going good and life is going good =]. Hopefully when I post next time I won't be as mad, although I can't hold you to it. Peace!